Leo's nightmare
by KerryAnne
Summary: After being captured and injected with various serums by the Shredder, Raphael captures Leo and forces him to be his mate. Can the brothers get past this or will their bond be broken forever?
1. Leo's nightmare

Leo's 16

Don's 16

Mikey's 16

Raph's 15

Fifteen-year-old Raphael blew out the candles on his chocolate birthday cake and made a wish. I know it's a huge ask, he thought, but I wish ta find love. Hopefully with Irma, he thought. I like her a lot and she's beautiful. So smart too and she makes my heart soar when she's around. Butterflies and all that shit. Fuck. "Great job, Raph," Leo said. "Did you make a wish?"

Emerald eyes looked into Leo's sapphire ones and Raphael said, "I did."

"What did you wish for, Raph?" Mikey asked.

"He can't tell you, Mikey," Don said. "Else it won't come true."

"That's right," Irma said. "So, how old are you now, Raphael?"

"Fifteen."

"I remember when I was that age," the brunette said, adjusting her red glasses. "Feels like a lifetime ago."

"Was only two years ago. Ya ain't old."

"Let's cut the cake, shall we?" April said. Raphael stood up and April cut slices for them all.

"This is incredible," Raphael enthused, after he'd taken a huge bite. "Thank ya, Irma."

"My pleasure. I'm thinking of becoming a caterer."

"Ya should totally do it. If ya need a guinea pig ta taste what ya make, I'd happily do it."

Mikey laughed and said, "Anything to get close to Irma, huh, Raph?"

Raphael flushed and said, "I don't know what yer talkin' 'bout."

"I think you do. Raphie has a crush on you, Irma. He's just too shy to admit it."

"Leave him alone, Mikey!" Leo said crossly.

"But it's true! Come on, Raphie."

His cheeks flaming red, Raphael dropped his plate, swung his fist into Mikey's jaw, sending him reeling, and stormed out of the lair.

"Nice going, Mikey!" Don said angrily.

"I was just being honest," Mikey said, rubbing his aching jaw.

"I'll talk to him," Leo said, and went in search of the temperamental turtle.

Raphael ran and ran until he could run no more, tears streaming down his cheeks, as he thought back to the events of that evening. Fuckin' Mikey, he thought, spillin' the beans like that after I swore him ta secrecy. How could he do that ta me and embarrass me like that? Fuck. Panting heavily, he slumped against a wall and cried unashamedly.

Raphael was so engrossed in his misery that he didn't see Bebop or Rocksteady hiding in the shadows, but he sure as hell felt the tranquilizer in his left leg. Looking up, he saw the villains and snarled, baring, his teeth, as his hands went to his sai in his obi, "Ya fuckin'…." but his sentence went unfinished, as the drug took effect, and he fell to the ground with a dull thud, his eyes sliding closed.

"Boss will be super pleased," Bebop said. "It's the red masked turtle. The mean one. What's his name again? Donatello?"

Rocksteady racked his brains and said, "I think it's Michelangelo. Quick. We have to get him to the boss before he wakes up. Come on."

The villains carefully lifted Raphael up and out of a nearby manhole into their van and sped off to Shredder's place.

XXX

Raphael woke up some time later and found himself strapped to a stretcher, Shredder peering at him. "Welcome back, Raphael," Shredder said.

"Oh, it's Raphael!" Bebop said, slapping his head in frustration. "I should have known. I always get them turtles mixed up."

"Shut up," Shredder shouted. "For once you morons actually did capture the turtles. Well, one of them. I wanted all of them, but he'll have to do. In fact, he's perfect. What a gorgeous specimen you are, Raphael." He trailed a hand down Raphael's bicep and said, "Huge muscles. Perfect."

"What do ya want with me?" Raphael demanded and spat in his face, as his green eyes blazed. "Don't fuckin' touch me."

Shredder wiped the spit from his cheek and said, "Your shell would look wonderful hanging up on my wall, but that's not what I have planned. No harm is going to come to you, Raphael. Nothing. I just want to examine you."

"Ya gay or somethin'? Ya want me? Maybe a kiss? Aw. Even Shredder needs love."

Shredder wrinkled his nose in disgust and said, "Shut it, shell back." He slipped a gloved hand between Raphael's legs and began to rub. "Drop down for me, mutant. Be a good boy. Come on, boy. I know you can do it."

"Fuckin' get yer hands off of me," Raphael shouted, as his shell felt embarrassingly tight. "Don't want this. Untie me now."

"Relax, Raphael. This is called a hand job. Ever had one before?"

A reluctant churr escaped Raphael's throat, as he dropped down into Shredder's waiting hand, his purple cock semi erect and slick with precome. Shredder kept rubbing and Raphael's eyes rolled back into his head, as he rumbled and saw stars. He'd given himself hand jobs before, but someone else-even if it was the Shredder doing it-was amazing. "Container now, Bebop," Shredder ordered.

Raphael churred loudly and went over the edge, as he climaxed, long ropey, milky streams of semen filling the container that Bebop held. "Good job, Raphael," Shredder praised. "You're so virile."

Panting, Raphael opened his eyes and, seeing the container, said, "What are ya gonna do with that?"

"Never you mind, Raphael. Now for my gift to you. Well, for me, actually," Shredder said, and cackled. "Blindfold him."

"Look, I got a right ta know what ya do with my DNA," Raphael said, as he was blindfolded. "What are ya plannin', sicko? A super army? Talk ta me."

"Talk to this," Shredder said, injecting him three times: once with a tranquilizer and then again with a special love potion he'd developed and finally with a special serum that would send Raphael's hormones raging off the charts. He'd be one aggressive, horny turtle with one thing on his mind.

"Fuckin' bastard," Raphael muttered, as he passed out.

"What do I do with his jizz, boss?" Bebop muttered.

"I'll examine it and throw it away," Shredder said.

"So, we aren't going to have turtles?" Rocksteady asked.

"Of course not," Shredder said. "We've been over this. I was just humiliating him. The real plan is to have the turtles fall in love and be so obsessed that they won't give a damn about my schemes. Go dump him in the sewers."

"Right, boss," Bebop said. "Come on, Rocksteady."

The villains untied Raphael, took him back to the sewers and returned to their boss.

XXX

Leo searched high and low for Raphael and was just about to call it a night, when he saw a prone figure lying on the ground. Cautiously approaching the figure, his eyes lit up when he saw it was his missing brother. "Raph," he said. "Thank God. I've been worried sick about you."

Green eyes flickered open and Raphael said weakly, "Leo?"

"It's me, Raph. Can you stand?"

"Yeah," Raphael said and stood. "I feel weird. Burns. So hot."

"Let's get Donnie to have a look at you. Did someone hurt you?"

"Mine!" Raphael growled, lunging at Leo and knocking him to the ground.

"Raph, what the hell's wrong with you?" Leo demanded, trying to escape, but unable to, because his brother was stronger. "Stop."

"Mine!" Raphael growled again, and bit down on Leo's collarbone, making him cry out in pain. "Gonna pound ya good."

"Raph," Leo said, realizing what his brother wanted. To dominate him and to rut like animals. "Stop. We're brothers. This is wrong. Raph! I don't want this and you don't either. Raph, stop. Please."

Ignoring Leo's pleas, Raphael parted Leo's legs and lined his cock at Leo's entrance. Leo bit his lip, as Raphael plunged inside of him, pain coursing through his body. Nothing like he'd ever experienced before. "Raph!" Leo said. "Stop."

Fuelled by his lust, his eyes glazed over, Raphael plowed in and out, Leo feeling like he was being split in two. Raphael's so huge, he thought. My brother's raping me and there's nothing I can do this. This isn't Raph. This is a monster. My brother would never do this to me. What happened to him? Have to remember this isn't Raph and when this is over..

Leo whined, as Raphael kept stabbing at his prostate, the cries turning to churrs, as Raphael hit the bundle of nerves buried inside of him. Leo came first, his essence coating both him and Raphael. A few minutes later, Raphael came, churring loudly, his essence filling up his brother and seeping out of Leo's abused hole down his thighs. "Mine," Raphael panted, pulling out and looking at his brother lovingly. "Mine. Love ya, Leo," Raphael added and pressed a kiss to Leo's lips.

Ashamed, disgusted and afraid, Leo turned his head away, as tears ran down his cheeks. My brother raped me and now he kisses me. What the hell happened to him?

"Yer mine," Raphael said, dragging Leo to his feet. "And we're gonna be together forever. Mine. Mine. Mine."

"Raph, I want to go home," Leo choked out. "I need a shower and we….Everyone's worried about you."

"We ain't gonna go home, Leo. Me and ya are gonna have a life together. Just us."

"I don't want that, Raph. I want to go home."

"Yer just sayin' that. Ya love me, Leo," Raphael said, slipping a hand between Leo's legs and tugging on his tail. "Yer comin' with me, Leo. I'm leader now and yer my mate."

"Raph, this isn't you," Leo said, trying not to flinch. "Something happened. Let's talk about it and we can figure out something. Come on. Donnie will help you."

"I'M FUCKIN' FINE!" Raphael yelled and backhanded Leo, making him wince. "I love ya and ya love me. Why the fuck can't ya accept that?"

"Raph…."

"Grrr," Raphael snarled, lunging at Leo and knocking him to the ground. "Stop fightin' me! It'll be easier for ya."

"Raph," Leo said, as he struggled futilely "Please…." His words were cut off, as seeing a brick beside him, Raph picked it up with one hand and smashed it onto his brother's head, stunning him. Leo blacked out and Raphael lifted up a limp Leo and loped off to his secret hideaway. "He's all mine," Raphael said, as he bound Leo to the bed in the chamber. "And he loves me. I know he does. We belong together."


	2. Agony

Sometime later, Leo woke, his head and every part of him throbbing. Raphael had certainly fucked him up good and he knew he'd feel it for days. He was naked and bound by the bedsheets to the bed and Raphael sat on the edge of it, looking at him intently. Leo's gear lay in a heap on the floor and Raphael was nude too, his own gear lying beside his brother's. "Welcome back, sugar," Raphael said. "How ya feelin'?"

"Let me go, Raph. Now and I won't tell anyone. I promise!"

"I don't think so, Fearless," Raphael said, scooting closer and placing his hands between Leo's legs. He tugged Leo's little tail, making him flinch, and said, "Yer mine. Ya know yer so perfect and guess what I found out? Yer intersex, so that means we can have babies! Ain't that cool? Ya, me and our babies. One happy family. I can't wait ta be a daddy!"

Nausea bubbled in Leo's belly at the thought of babies with his brother. Could that really happen? Was he really intersex? How could they handle babies? What kind of life could the babies have being down in the sewers and how could he love them being a product of rape? No. If he became gravid, the best option would be abortion. And maybe then they could go on with their lives. Who was he kidding? Babies or no babies, there was no way he and Raphael could be civil after this. Even if wasn't Raphael's fault and he'd been drugged, it was still rape and he couldn't trust or be around him. He was sure Raphael, once the drug wore off of him, would be sickened at what he'd done and want the abortion too.

"Say somethin', Leo. Yer awful quiet."

"I don't want babies with you and I don't want to be with you, Raphael. I want to go home. Now," Leo yelled. "Look, you've been drugged and this isn't you. Can't be you, because you're straight and this is morally wrong. We're brothers. Untie me and I swear I won't tell anyone."

"Nah. Ya enjoyed us fuckin'. Yer just too shy ta say it," Raphael said, and stroked his cheek. "Ya've always been scared ta talk 'bout feelings, Leo, but it's okay. Ya can admit ya liked it. Admit it. Ya liked my thick rod buried deep in ya and ya submissive ta me."

Leo spat at him, sapphire eyes blazing, and said, "You raped me, Raphael."

"Can't be rape if ya enjoyed it, Leo," Raphael said, and wiped the spit off of his cheek. "Ya churred, baby, so ya loved it. We're gonna be amazin' together, Leo."

"I'll never love you and the guys will find me."

"Ya do love me, Leo. Yer just shy ta admit it, but I know that'll come," Raphaei said, and nuzzled Leo's cheek. "Ya smell so damn good, Leo. Musk tinged with mint. Must be due ta all the mint tea ya drink.

"I WANT…."

Raphael cut off Leo's sentence by smashing his lips onto Leo's in a fierce and possessive kiss. Biting Leo's lower lip, tasting him, claiming him. He thrust his tongue inside of Leo's mouth, making him want to gag. It was wrong and sordid. His own brother was kissing him and he didn't want this. Not at all. Leo tried to pull away, but Raphael was too strong and gripped his face, as he kissed him.

A few minutes later, Raphael broke the kiss and nipped Leo's collarbone, asserting dominance, and making Leo mewl, tears running down his face. He was going to be violated again, he knew, and there was nothing he could do about it. All he could do was lie there and take it. Him the leader treated like a plaything by his own brother. It was a living nightmare and one he never imagined would happen. I'd rather die than this, Leo thought. This is hell.

Raphael began to trail kisses down Leo's plastron, licking the salty tears that had dripped from Leo's face, his hands groping, touching, familiarizing himself with his body, examining the numerous battle scars. "I remember this scar," Raphael said, stopping and looking up. "I gave it ta ya when I got pissed at ya after ya ran off with Karai one night. Was convinced ya two were runnin' away."

"So you were jealous," Leo said, hoping by talking Raphael would cease.

"Kinda, but not because I fancied ya. Was jealous, because ya had love and I was alone."

"So, why do you think you like me now, Raphael?"

Raphael shrugged and said, "I don't know."

"You were drugged. That's why. You're straight, Raphael, and you don't want this."

"Maybe I was lyin' ta myself and I really did like ya and was scared ta admit it, but does it really matter, Leo? Here we are. Alone. Together. It feels so right. Ya beneath me." **.** "

"Well, it's not right. It's incest, Raph, and love isn't about domination. It's about caring for one another and respect. All you want to do is fuck me hard and show me who's the Alpha. That's not love."

"I show my love with actions. Ya know that and I like it a bit rough, but don't mean I don't love ya, Leo. I love ya so much and I will treasure ya forever. Ya just gotta know yer place first. Now, shut up. I'm fuckin' horny."

Ignoring Leo's pleas to stop, Raphael parted Leo's legs and thrust his dick inside of Leo's hole, stretching him and grinning, as Leo's hole adjusted to accommodate his length. Raphael plunged in and out, churring, his eyes closed in pure bliss, as Leo shrieked in agony, fear, indigation and sadness. Unless he was rescued, this was going to be his life forever. Raphael's mate. Wrong. Sick. Sordid. It shouldn't be happening. He squeezed his eyes shut and prayed his torment would soon be over.

Raphael fucked him relentlessly, his eyes hooded, lust taking over. Leo's moans soon turned to ones of pleasure, as Raphael repeatedly hit his prostate, Leo soon climaxing and leaking hot, sticky come. Raphael came a minute later with a loud growl, his own essence deposited deep inside of his brother.

Panting heavily, Raphael pulled out, planted a kiss on an exhausted Leo's lips and said, "That was fuckin' amazn', my love. I love how tight ya are and I love bein' inside ya. I love everythin' 'bout ya and I'm so happy yer mine. Mine."

Every fibre of his being hurt and Leo thought dejectedly, I didn't like that. My body betrayed me. I don't love him. Not romantically. I keep telling myself it's not him and it's the drugs, but I'm not sure I can ever love him as a brother either. No. I'm frightened of him. Me, the leader, who shouldn't be. I mean, this is my kid brother. My little brother.

"Ya like that, baby?" Raphael said huskily, oblivious to Leo's discomfort. "Was it as good for ya as for me? I know ya churred. Ya like yer brother's dick in ya, don't ya, baby?"

"See how wrong that sounds, Raphael? Brother!"

"Well, we were raised as brothers, but ain't no proof we're related."

"Still. It's gross and I'm your leader. You don't treat me like this."

"No. Yer not. Yer my mate and I'm the boss in our relationship. Ya listen ta me. Ya got it?" Raphael hissed, green eyes flashing. "I'm in charge. Not ya. Got it, Fearless?"

Leo summoned up his last bit of courage and said, "No. You're not and our brothers will find me and I'll never love you romantically. This is disgusting and you know it too."

Infuriated, his green eyes blazing at Leo's defiance, Raphael grabbed his sai and shoved the hilt up Leo's hole. Blood flowed out of a terrified, whining, and agonized Leo, as the weapon violated his insides. Raphael stoically watched his brother, his arms crossed, thinking, he deserved it. If he'd only listened.

Leo whined and muttered, all his bravado gone, "I'm sorry. Take it out. Hurts so bad."

"I didn't hear you, Fearless. Yer what?"

Sapphire eyes brimmed with tears and Leo said, "I'm yours. I'm sorry, Raph. You're my Alpha and I'm the Omega and I'll be good."

"Ya like me in ya, don't ya?"

"Love it. You're so huge and belong in me."

"Ya love me."

"Yes. I love you so much. I was just scared what the others would say, but I do love you, Raphael, and I like it when you're rough."

Mollified, Raphael pulled out the sai, but before either could comment, Leo passed out. Raphael examined him and thought, just a small tearin'. He's gonna be fine. Just fine and now he's accepted he's mine, I doubt he'll resist again. He hummed, as he cleaned Leo and thought, I can't wait until we fuck again. Gonna fuck him so damn good. The way he likes it and deserves.


	3. Ensnared

Leo woke up a couple hours later, every orifice throbbing, Raphael lying next to him, his beak buried in the crook of Leo's neck, arms thrown around Leo, as he snored. Leo wished he could throw him off, but his arms still bound, all he could do there was lie there. The smell of sex and musk permeated the air, Raphael's breath tickling his neck and he knew that they smelled of sex too. Raphael was huge and Leo was convinced damage had been done. It would take him a lifetime to recover. If indeed he did. Not just physically, but emotionally too. He blinked back tears and thought, I'm screwed if the guys don't find me. I don't want this. I don't want Raph. I wish I was at home in my warm bed. And if the guys do find me, how the hell am I going to tell them that Raph raped me? Me, the leader, Fearless. I'm not so Fearless now, am I? And Raph knows it too. This pain is like nothing I've ever felt before. I wish I was dead. I can't endure this forever. Maybe if I pray, I'll be rescued? Prayers work, right?

Raphael stirred, opened his eyes, looked into Leo's and murmured, "Mornin', beautiful." Leo shut his eyes, fearing he was about to be violated once again. "I said mornin', Leo!" Raphael growled. "Don't t ya fuckin' ignore your alpha! Show some fuckin' respect and look at me too," Raphael snarled and bit down hard on Leo's collarbone. Leo whined and open his eyes wide in panic. "That's better. Now greet me."

"You're insane, Raph," Leo said miserably, tears filling his eyes.

"I'm perfectly sane and I know what I want. Ya. Yer amazin' Leo. Lyin' there for only me ta use. Not Karai's no more. Did ya ever fuck her?"

"None of your business."

"It fuckin' is, because yer mine. Did ya? I wanna know now? Did ya ram yer dick into her hole and pound her good, like I pounded ya? Did ya?" Raphael demanded jealously, his green eyes flashing.

"No. We just kissed and fooled around, but we were planning to have sex."

"So I'm yer first and yer mine?"

"Yes, Raphael. Not that it's special! I never wanted this. It's still rape!"

"It is special. We lost our virginity ta one another and have a bond. A mated bond. No one can take that away from us. No one and yer never gonna see Karai again. Yer mine," Raphael said and licked Leo's cheek with his rough tongue, leaving slobber on it and making Leo want to hurl. It was disgusting. He wasn't an object to mark and claim and treat like a sex toy. Damn it! He was the leader, an alpha in his own right.

Leo closed his eyes, praying once again for rescue.

As if reading his mind, Raphael said, "Ya ain't ever gonna see the others again. I'm all ya need and want. Mine. Yer body responds ta me, Leo, and accepts me as yer alpha and yer body loves my cock fillin' yer hole with my seed. Breedin' ya. We're gonna have the cutest babies. I smell yer arousal when we fuck and ya love my manly strong musk. It drives ya wild, just like ya drive me nuts, my gorgeous little mommy ta be. Yer gonna be fat, round and swollen with my eggs. I wonder how many eggs ya will lay. Donnie said that red-eared sliders lay between two and thirty-two. Personally, I think four would be fuckin' fantastic. Four littles one ta fuss over and spoil."

"You do realize that if we live in the tunnels, someone will find us, Raph, so you won't be able to keep me here forever. Bet you haven't thought of that, because you always act on impulse and never think about the future or the consequences."

"Leo, no one goes in these tunnels, so we're safe from humans and all those who wanna break us up, so stop worryin'."

"How do you plan on raising a family, Raph? You don't even clean up after yourself! How do you expect to care for babies?"

Raphael rolled his eyes and said, "I make them, I'll play with them and will be the protector, but yer job is ta change their diapers and shit. Yer the mommy and that's what mommies do. Play house. I'm the alpha and we don't do things like that."

"Not only are you a rapist, but you're a misogynistic bastard!" Leo hissed.

"Whatever, Leo, but yer the female in the relationship and yer the one with a uterus and ovaries, so you can hardly call yerself an alpha. And yer job is ta also take care of all my needs and none of that shit that ya have a headache or whatever. Ya listen ta me and do as I say all the time. I want sex, ya spread yer legs. Understand?"

"Doesn't sound fair, Raphael. Sounds more like abuse than a loving relationship. Not like this could ever…"

"I'll love ya, Leo, and won't smack ya if ya behave. It's real easy, besides yer lucky ta have me. I'm hot, smart and I have a huge cock. What more do ya want?"

"Oh, I don't know. Freedom and genuine love?" Leo said sarcastically. "You know nothing about a relationship, Raphael. It's based on love and trust and not fear. You don't force someone into submission and dominate them to love you. They love you, because they want to. You don't love me. You just want to breed and treat me like an object and pet."

"Not entirely. I wanna treat ya like my princess," Raphael said with a smirk, ignoring all his brother had said. "I do know how ta treat a woman. I've read what they like. Bein' fucked hard, dominated, slapped 'round and bitten and stuff."

"Been trawling the BDSM sites, Raphael, or talking to Casey? Only warped chicks like that and I'm not a chick, despite my female parts. I'm a guy and that's not at all what women like in a relationship. They like romance, kisses and cuddles, poems, backrubs and romantic dinners. You really haven't got a clue and if you're asking Casey for advice, you really are dense. Casey is clueless and wouldn't know how to romance a rock."

"I ain't clueless. I can be romantic and write poetry and shit. I can be sweet and lovin' and make ya happy, Leo."

"No, Raphael. You can't, because I don't want you. I never have. I love Karai and I always will."

Raphael's nostrils flared in rage, his eyes blazing, he roughly kneed Leo's legs apart, lined his cock up at Leo's entrance and brutally thrust inside. Leo screamed, but Raphael ignored his shrieks and continued to slam away, thrusting in deeper and faster. Hearing Karai's name had incensed him. What did she have that he didn't? Why did Leo love her and not him when he'd done everything he could to ensure Leo felt loved? Sure, he'd fucked Leo, but Leo's body had welcomed it, as evidenced by the pheromones Leo had released, so it wasn't rape. It was love. Their love. No. Leo just wanted to be a spiteful bitch and he'd pay for that. And he'd make Leo see sense and realize that only he, Raphael, was good enough for Leo.

Raphael climaxed a while later, shooting his essence deep inside of his brother, who came a minute later, his own dick leaking, sobs wracking his body.

"I filled ya up again with my cum," Raphael said. "Lots of it. So much that some is leakin' outta yer well used hole. The hole that belongs ta me and my cum is makin' yer beautiful thighs shine. Yer a handsome turtle, Leo, but yer even sexier when yer drenched in my cum. My jizz. Hey, Leo, do ya know where babies will come outta ya?" Leo continued weeping and Raphael added, "Outta yer cloaca. Probably gonna be weird and sore as hell when ya go through it, but I'll be here for ya. I know I'm actin' like a dick, but I just want ya ta accept yer place and then I don't gotta be so mean, ya understand? Stop snivellin'. Ya should never have said those things 'bout that bitch. In fact, take it back or I'm gonna have ta be nasty again. Now, Leo. Stop whingeing and if I ever hear her name again, I'm gonna hurt ya real bad, ya understand? My mate or not, ya don't talk 'bout other people as if I'm not good enough for ya when I'm the fuckin' best thing ya've ever had. I'm givin' ya love, a new life away from all those that aren't worth yer time and givin' ya babies. Ya should be happy, Leo, so take it back 'bout that bitch now! Tell me ya love me and only want me. I wanna hear it!"

"I'm sorry, Raphael," Leo choked out; petrified that Raphael would abuse him again. "I take it back. I love you and I never loved her. I want you. Only you."

"Atta boy," Raphael said sneeringly. "And tell me ya want my babies."

"I want them. Lots of them and to be with you forever," Leo said and hiccoughed.

"Yeah. And tell me ya love my cum and my cock."

"I love them too, Raphael. All of you."

Raphael gripped Leo's face and thrust his tongue inside of Leo's mouth for a brutal kiss. The leader forced himself to return the kiss and not throw up, as Raphael thrust deeper and nibbled on Leo's tongue. The kissing intensified and both were panting when Raphael broke the kiss. "I'm gonna go out for a while, Leo. Somethin' I need ta do, but don't worry. I'll be back real soon."

"Take your time," Leo muttered, his body throbbing again. I don't want babies, he thought or Raph. I want to go home. What did I do to deserve this?

Raphael returned two hours later with a knapsack and said, "I figured yer hungry, so I went and got dinner. Hope ya like chicken, mashed potatoes, gravy and veggies."

"You broke into someone's home and stole their roast dinner?"

"No big deal. It was vacant, so all I had ta do was raid the fridge. Ya hungry? I sure am," Raphael said, as he took out containers. "We don't got a microwave, so it's gonna haveta be cold."

"You could have been seen, Raphael! Are you nuts?"

Raphael rolled his eyes again and said, "The house was vacant. I saw the people leave. Relax. Now open wide. I got cutlery too. Hey, this is a celebratory meal. Ta findin' each other and ta losin' our virginity."

"You didn't find me, Raphael. I was always there."

"Yeah, but I mean ta realizin' that we were made for each other and soulmates," Raphael said, dipping the spoon into the mashed potatoes and gravy. "We're of the same coin, Leo. Just took me forever ta realize it and now I have, I ain't never gonna let ya go. This is kinda romantic, ain't it, Leo? Me feedin' ya and we're celebratin' bein' together. A couple for all eternity."

"Yes, Raphael," Leo forced himself to say. "You did good."

Raphael beamed, nuzzled his beak against Leo's and said, "And ya think I'm just a sadist? I only was ta make ya see reason, Leo, and as long as ya listen, I'll be sweet and lovin' and love ya the way ya need and want." Raphael offered the spoon to Leo and said, "Open wide, hon."

Leo dutifully ate, afraid if he didn't, Raphael would have another melt down.

"Good boy, Leo. Ya like it?"

"Prefer warm."

"I know. Someday, I'll find us a nice home with appliances, a backyard in which the kids can play and we can barbecue and we'll have a swimmin' pool and…Or we can live in the forest and live on the lay of the land. I like that more. What do ya think?"

"Your idea." Oh hell, Leo thought. Please by some miracle, let our family find us. I can't endure any more!

"Of course," Raphael said and continued feeding him. When he'd fed Leo his share, he said, "Hey. I gotta run again. Got somethin' important I need ta do."

"Like what?"

"Eliminatin' my potential competition," Raphael said bluntly, grabbing his sai and slipping it into his obi. "I'll be sure ta bring back a souvenir, okay?" He bent down, kissed Leo and left.

Oh, my fucking shit, Leo thought fearfully, desperately trying to break free, his sapphire eyes wide in horror. He's going after Karai.

 **A/N Been forever since I've updated. Thanks to all for reviewing and following :)**

 **Will Raph kill Karai?**


	4. Eliminating the competition

Enraged, Raphael went in search of Karai. The bitch had to play for making puppy dog eyes and trying to seduce his Leo. He'd bring her back to Leo, kill her in front of him, place her head on a stick for a while and Leo would then finally get the message that he was Raphael's and his alone. Raphael's nostrils flared, as he sniffed the air and smelled a familiar aroma. Perfume. Chanel no 5 or some fancy shit like that. Karai's scent. Bitch, he thought, his eyes blazing. I'm gonna get ya good.

He stuck to the shadows, following her, as she leapt across the rooftops, laughing and enjoying the crisp air. It was December 23 and snow blanketed the ground, turning it into a winter wonderland. Any other day, Raphael would have gazed upon it in awe. He loved snow and when he'd been younger, his brothers had snuck out after Splinter had gone to bed and had had snow ball fights and made snow men or snow turtles. Fantastic memories, but now wasn't the time to reminisce. He was on a mission and it wouldn't fail.

He waited until Karai had stopped and was gazing out at the city, her back turned to him.

How he loathed the vixen. She was nothing but trouble and a huge obstacle between him and his mate. It would be a pleasure eliminating her. He planned on making her death a drawn out and painful one. The bitch deserved it. He'd start with… No. He was getting distracted. He had to act now.

Then suddenly, she turned around, her dark eyes staring at him in curiosity, a light smile playing upon her red lips. "I thought I sensed someone following me. What do you want Raphael?"

Raphael's green eyes bore into hers, his teeth clenched, his shoulders shaking in rage.

"You look vexed, Raphael? Something troubling you? Is it Leo? You guys really need to work out your problems. Or maybe it's because you're sexually frustrated? There are whores down there that would gladly suck you off for a few bucks. Why don't you go there? This silent treatment's rather creepy."

Raphael continued to stare at her, his nostrils flaring, incensed that she'd suggest he fornicate with whores.

"Don't like that idea, huh? I could do you if you want. It's nearly Christmas and I can be gracious and give you that. After all, it's not like you have any other options, apart from whores, given your atrocious look and behavior. Yes. I know Leo's a mutant turtle, but he's attractive and has a personality."

Raphael rolled his shoulders, cracked his knuckles and glowered. How dare she offer to fuck him. As if he wanted her skanky ass. Leo might have liked her, but he didn't. He knew what she really was and not what she pretended to be. Offering herself to him as if she were a great gift and not the trash she was. Fuck. Now he was going to enjoy offing her even more.

"Still no answer, huh? Well, whatever. Die a virgin then, Raphael. I don't care. But can you stop acting so weird? You're starting to creep me out big time."

"Yer a filthy, common whore!" Raphael spat. "I don't know what Leo saw in ya."

Karai rolled her eyes and said, "See, Raphael. That's why you'll never have a girlfriend. You don't know how to treat women."

"Ya ain't no lady and I bet ya've been 'round the block. I wouldn't touch ya if ya were the last thing alive, especially as I got a mate now."

Karai laughed. "Yeah? In your head maybe. No one would want you. Anyway, I'm done talking to you. I'm busy. Go find something else to do, like maybe getting a personality perhaps."

"Leo loves me."

"He has to, because he's your brother, but if you'd been mine, I can honestly say you wouldn't have lived long. Now go away. "

Karai turned her back on him, no longer deeming him worthy of conversation.

Raphael's nostrils flared and he charged at her, knocking her to the ground. "What the hell, Raphael?" Karai said. "If you want to fuck, there are other ways of telling me."

Raphael growled, as they wrestled. Then finding himself on top of her, he pinned her down and said, "I fuckin' wouldn't poke my dick in ya. I might catch somethin'."

"As eloquent as ever," Karai said sarcastically. "If you don't want to fuck…"

Her words were cut of as Raphael applied a pressure point to her and she found herself unable to move, her limbs paralyzed.

"What the hell, Raphael?" she said, trying not to sound panicked. "What do you want?"

"Your head," Raphael said, before he wrapped his arms around her neck and squeezed until she'd passed out. Then he lifted her up and headed back to his place.

XXX

Raphael arrived back at his place a while later and said to a shocked Leo, "Look what I got." He unceremoniously dumped her on the ground and chained her to a wall.

"Let her go!" Leo said, his eyes wide in panic. "Karai's innocent, Raph."

"The fuckin' hell she is. That bitch that supposedly loves ya propositioned me!"

"Karai would never…"

"She did. Open yer damn eyes. She's a fuckin' skank and has never been worthy of ya, but now yer gonna see the truth. That she ain't worthy and I am. I love ya, Leo. I'd never fuck anyone else or offer ta fuck anyone else. I'm always gonna be true and I'm gonna be the best mate and daddy," Raphael said, tracing Leo's jaw with his hand.

Leo's insides churned, he turned his head away and said, "If you really love me, Raph, you'll let her go. You don't want to do anything, Raph."

Raphael forcibly turned Leo's head and said coldly, "I do. I can't wait ta watch the light die out in her eyes and best of all yer gonna see it. I'll first get some confessions from her and listen ta her beggin'. She'll think I'll be worn down by them and will release her, but no. She's an obstacle ta our love and she has ta be annihilated!"

"Do you realize how insane you sound, Raph? This isn't you! Let her go and…"

"Now her paralysis will wear off soon and then the fun can begin," Raphael said and gleefully rubbed his hands. "This is gonna be epic! Do watch, Leo. I'd hate for ya ta miss the show."

"It's not a show, Raph! You're talking about snuffing out someone's life!"

"Not just anyone, Leo, but the worthless bitch, whose only ever caused shit. Why should I care?"

"You're acting like an animal, Raph!"

"Maybe," Raphael said with a shrug. "But so what? She fuckin' deserves it and it has ta be done, so that ya can see that ya belong ta me only," Raphael said and tugged at Leo's tail, making him mewl. "Stop tryin' ta talk me outta it. My mind's made up."

"You'll regret this, Raph, and won't be able to forgive yourself."

"My only regret is that I didn't kill her months ago, but oh well, better late than never."

A groan was heard and Leo saw Karai opening her eyes and glancing around the room.

"Well, well," Raphael said, noticing her waking too. "Sleepin' Beauty's finally woken. Welcome ta yer hell, bitch. I hope ya don't die too quickly. It would be a shame, because I know Leo wants a drawn out show too, ain't that right, sweetheart?"

Karai studied Leo chained to the bed and said fearfully, "Leo, what's going on? What is your lunatic brother talking about? And why are you chained up?"

"I think Raph was injected with something that made him think he loves me and he kidnapped me."

"Don't talk 'bout me, like I ain't here, blossom," Raphael said crossly. "Bitch, I love Leo and yer the obstacle ta our love, so yer gonna die. That's all yer gonna know."

"The obstacle to your love?" Karai said incredulously, her eyes wide. "Raphael, you're crazy. Leo and you are brothers. Mere brothers. He doesn't love you that way. You don't either!"

"But I do and what's more, Leo loves me too. He's just pretendin' he don't, because yer here and he don't wanna hurt yer feelings, but I don't give a fuck 'bout them. Me and Leo fuck, ya know, and he tells me he loves me. Really loves me. He always has. We lost our virginity with one another. It was real special," Raphael said and nuzzled his beak against a nauseated looking Leo's.

"So special that Leo looks like he wants to throw up," Karai said sardonically, trying to break free, but unable. "I can do the math, Raphael. You raped him and he's terrified of you. You're a revolting beast and you should be ashamed of yourself."

"It wasn't rape, because he enjoyed it!" Raphael screamed, shoving a finger into her face. "Tell her that, Leo?"

"I…"

"He can't, because he doesn't and will never like you that way, Raphael," Karai said. "Even if you murder me, he won't and if you kill me, he'll loathe you forever. He has my heart and I have his. You're a psycho, Raphael, and nothing you can do or say will eradicate Leo's love for me. Nothing."

Raphael's eyes went white, as he digested all she'd said, a clear sign that his temper had reached boiling point. Leo had only ever seen that in battle and when their enemies were near.

Seeing his brother reach into his obi, Leo emitted a strangled cry.

Raphael threw his sai and in abject horror, Leo screamed, as the sai neatly severed Karai's head from her body, the head rolling, Karai's dark eyes now vacant, her lips twisted into a grisly smile, the one she'd had just before she died.

Ta give her credit, Raphael thought, she hadn't flinched and had stoically accepted her fate.

Raphael picked up the head, placed it on a spike by Leo's bed and said to a trembling Leo, "That's that then. I'm gonna get some champagne, baby. It's celebration time. I love ya. From now on, I promise things are gonna be amazin'. Don't cry, sweetheart. She doesn't deserve the tears."

Raphael kissed a blubbering Leo and left.

"HELP ME!" Leo shouted, as he took in Karai's lifeless face. "SOMEONE FIND ME!"

Leo screamed for a long time until he could no more. Then, emotionally drained and scarred, he fell asleep, wakened a while later by a bright light. He opened his eyes, saw it was a torch and sighed in relief, as two familiar figures loomed over him.

They unshackled him and hugged him tightly, their tears mingled with his.

Then they lifted him and carried him through the tunnels to safety.

 **A/N So looks like Leo is safe now, but what about Raphael? How will he react to his mate being gone?**

 **Thanks for all the support.**


	5. Safe

Leo woke up a few hours later and saw that Donnie was sitting on a chair by his bedside. "Donnie?" Leo said, praying his brother wasn't a figment of his imagination.

"Hey, Leo," Donnie said softly.

"Am I… Is he?" Leo said in panic, his eyes wide.

"It's just me, Leo. You're safe, okay? I hooked you up to a drip. It's just a precaution, because you were extremely weak when me and Mikey found you and you need to rest for a few days to regain your strength."

Leo sank back against the pillows and sighed in relief. "How did you find me?"

"We were searching the tunnels when we saw Raph exit one and leave. He was muttering shit about 'his mate, Leo' and 'I've finally killed that bitch Karai'. I thought that was strange and when we were sure he was gone, we went down the tunnel and found you. And not a minute too soon. Leo, I…" Don looked embarrassed and said, "Being the family doc, I had to examine you for any injuries and I found…Leo, I know this is going to be uncomfortable, but we need to discuss it. I discovered numerous bruises and bites and evidence that you've been sexually active. Were you and Raph intimate? Are you dating? I would be surprised if you were. I always thought you and Raph were straight, but if you've found love together and are happy, I'd be glad for you. I don't know how Mikey will feel about it though."

Leo squeezed his eyes shut and said in a broken voice, "It wasn't love and it was unwanted."

Donnie's eyes flew wide and he said, "Are you telling me that Raph raped you, Leo? He loves us and would never willingly hurt any of us. And what did he mean about Karai?"

Leo opened his eyes and said, "He thought that she was an obstacle to our love and kidnapped and decapitated her with his sai, Donnie. In front of me. Then he impaled her head on a stick and placed it by the bed. I was bound to it and had been from the first day."

"Raph killed Karai? He hates her, but I never thought," Don said in astonishment. "I know Raph has anger issues, but he wouldn't do something so despicable and hurt us, especially you. Despite your epic fights, he adores you, Leo, and lives for your praise. He tries hard to hide it, but I see him puff up his plastron in pride and smile when that happens. You're his hero. It doesn't make sense, unless he always had those feelings and something triggered him to act on them. Any theories?"

"He's an animal, Donnie! He repeatedly raped me and marked me by biting, telling me I was his mate and he wanted my babies!" Leo wept. "Donnie, he was brutal. It was like being with a monster! I don't want to talk about any damn theories. I want to crawl under a rock and die! And you just want to play scientist and talk theories." Leo hiccupped, tears streaming down his face, and said, "I need comfort. Not a scientist, Donnie. I've been through unimaginable hell and worse could follow."

"I'm sorry, Leo," Donnie said and gently folded him into a hug.

Leo sobbed onto his shoulder. The genius hadn't seen his brother cry in years, so it must have been extremely traumatic. Leo would need extensive support mentally and emotionally and he'd try, so that Leo could heal, but he did need to talk about Raphael as well. Whatever the emerald skinned turtle had done, he was still their brother and if something had caused him to be so animalistic, he had to find out what and cure him. Maybe Leo and Raphael could then heal their now even more strained relationship.

"Leo, I'm here for you bro," Donnie said and gently pulled away. "I'm sorry. I'm so used to being a doctor and clinical that I forget to tune into my emotions. I love you and you can talk to me."

"He told me that I was intersex," Leo blurted out, fresh tears filling his eyes. "And that I could have his babies and that he was very much looking forward to them. I don't want those living reminders of the hell I went through. I want if that happens, an abortion or whatever. I can't do it, Donnie. I just can't!"

"Sh, Leo. It might not happen, so let's try to be calm and be positive."

"Promise me if that happens, you'll help me," Leo pleaded. Seeing his big brother so vulnerable broke Donnie's heart and he nodded. "Raphael wouldn't want them either if he knew they were created out of rape and if there aren't babies, it would be easier for me to heal and for him. Because…" Leo paused and then added, "I'm conflicted, Donnie. I hate Raphael, because of what he did. Treating me like his mate instead of his big brother and making me feel violated and filthy."

"That's understandable, but you still love him, because he's your brother."

"Yes. I understand his behavior was caused by drugs, but still. I'm scared of him and yet I want to protect him too. He was also a victim in this and he'll be disgusted with himself once he learns the truth. He won't be able to forgive himself."

"What drugs?"

"I don't know, but he must have been injected with drugs, because he's never acted like that to me before. It was only ever strictly fraternal and he was animalistic, beastly, savage and territorial, rutting me like an animal. It was like he was giving in to his primal urges and that's all he could think about. And then he kept professing his love for me. How can you love someone if you rape them?"

"You can't, but perhaps you're right, Leo. It sounds like he's been injected with a mixture of drugs to reduce him to his primal urges and to fall in love with you. Probably one of our enemy's sick plans. Maybe Shredder. Smacks of him. A twisted plot to keep us focused on things down here, so that we won't interfere with his scheming. Bastard. I'd like to wring his neck!" Donnie said furiously, his hazel eyes flashing.

"You can't bring him here, Donnie!" Leo screamed in panic, his eyes wide. "You have no idea how insane he is. He'll hurt me and… Donnie, don't do it!"

"Raph won't hurt you, Leo. I swear. Mikey and I will protect you."

"You can't. He's immensely strong and he'll hurt you too. You have to leave him where he is. I can't face him. Donnie, please," Leo said hysterically.

"Leo, he's still our brother whatever he's done and if he's been drugged, I have to cure him. I understand your reservations, but nothing further will happen to you. Me and Mikey will ensure no harm befalls you. Raphael will be contained. We'll look for him, drug him and then tie him down in his bed until I've found a cure."

"It won't work. He'll be so fuelled with rage that he'll break his bonds and he'll come after me!" Leo shrieked.

"Leo, I swear that won't happen. Do you trust me?"

"Yes, but…"

"Have I ever let you down before?"

"No."

"Then trust me. I will cure Raph."

"And then what, Donnie? How are you going to fix what happened?" Leo yelled. "I do love him and while I know it was due to the drugs, it's still rape. I can't be around him. I'm not sure I ever can or can trust him again. Raph won't understand that and it'll break his heart. He might do something drastic and…"

"Raphael won't come near you until you're ready, Leo, and as for Raph's actions, we'll do our best to ensure he doesn't do anything foolish. But we can't allow Raph to live like an animal for the rest of his life. He's our brother and he deserves to be home with us. I'm sorry, Leo, but…He's my brother too and I can't abandon him."

Leo muttered, "Fine, but keep him away from me and stay with me right now, Donnie. Please. I don't want to be alone."

Donnie sat down beside him and took his hand, lovingly squeezing it. Leo shivered, his heart pounding, his insides churning and thought, I can't face Raph ever again. I just can't. I don't think we can ever get past this. How can we? And the shame of it is unbearable, like a dagger in my plastron. Our bond as brothers is shattered forever.

 **A/N Thanks to all following and reviewing. Will Donnie and Mikey capture Raph?**


	6. Traumatized

Soothed by Don's presence, Leo fell asleep.

Leo found himself in a large room that looked like a nursery. A blue crib was in the corner and Disney characters were stencilled and painted on the white walls. A yellow rocking horse with red handles was near the crib and there was a large assortment of toys scattered around the room, including a large stuffed panda Leo recognized as Raphael's.

How bizarre, Leo thought. How'd it get here? Where am I?

Crying sounded and realizing it emanated from the crib, Leo went over to it and peeked inside.

Twin girls flailed their limbs and looked up at him. Their skin color was forest green, like him, and they had his sapphire eyes.

They're beautiful. Little angels. Mine, Leo thought, as he continued gazing at them? But then who's their other parent?

Raphael appeared and Leo's stomach tightened in knots and his blood ran cold. Instinctively, he turned to run now knowing the answer to his question.

Raphael was the dad and he….This was their home and those were their babies. His living nightmare of being Raphael's mate had come true and he was trapped. He had to leave. His life depended on it.

Raphael leapt high in the air and kicked out at his brother, taking him by surprise and sending him sprawled onto the ground. Winded, Leo panted, as Raphael climbed onto him. The emerald skinned turtle pressed his full weight onto Leo and pinned his arms down. Leo tried to wriggle free, but Raphael was way too strong.

Green eyes blazing, Raphael hissed, his face mere inches from his brother's, "How many times do I gotta tell ya that ya ain't goin' nowhere, Leo? Yer mine and ya ain't leavin' me, Maddie and Rosie! Get it through yer skull once and for all. Guess I gotta teach ya, who's boss again and teach ya a lesson!"

"I'm sorry!" Leo said. "Raph, you don't have to do this. I just….."

Raphael sank his teeth into Leo's collarbone, eliciting an undignified squawk from him. The volatile turtle's breath tickled Leo's neck, sending a shiver down his spine, and his musky scent filled Leo's nostrils. It was intoxicating and heady and Leo didn't want it. Didn't want any of this. Didn't want to be stuffed by his brother and treated like a toy. Not again.

"I'll behave. I promise," Leo begged tearfully. "I'm sorry. I…."

Raphael snorted contemptuously, roughly kneed Leo's legs apart and said, "Gonna fill ya with my seed. Ya like it, bro? Yeah. Ya like it when I fuck ya good and make ya submit. Gonna make ya so compliant, ya'll never think 'bout leavin' again. How could ya anyway, when I treat ya well and ya got babies? Yer a selfish bastard, Leo! Always thinkin' 'bout escapin' me!"

Hot tears ran down Leo's face, as he wept, but Raphael ignored him and plunged his thick cock inside of his brother, his eyes hooded, as he succumbed to his animal desire of rutting and dominating his mate, his deep rumbles of pleasure echoing off of the walls.

Leo screamed and squeezed his eyes shut, as his forehead beaded with sweat, his heart pounded, his body shook and tears streamed down his cheeks. It had happened again and he'd been powerless to prevent it. How could he call himself a leader now? He wasn't fearless. He was weak and a shell of himself. There was no way he could fight in battle when he was afraid of his own shadow and when fear gripped his very being and he wanted to die.

"Leo," Don said softly, taking in his obviously traumatized brother. It was clear he'd had a nightmare. Probably about his time with Raph, Don mused. "Leo," Don said and gently shook his brother. "You're safe with me. Open your eyes. I promise you're safe."

Sapphire eyes opened and still quaking, Leo said fearfully, "Raph was here and he was…..We had babies. Twin girls. It was horrible. I….He's here, isn't he? I smelled him. His breath, his scent. He's here! He's going to hurt me. I can't go through that again!" Leo's voice rose in panic and he said, "He'll hurt me. I know he will! Keep him away!"

Don folded him into a gentle hug and said, "He's not here, Leo. You're safe. It's just us, okay? There are no babies and Raph isn't here. You had a nightmare."

"But it was so real. The babies were called Maddie and Rosie and Raph was mad when I tried to escape. He went ballistic and forced himself on me," Leo hiccupped.

"It was a bad dream. You're safe. Look around. There are no babies."

"But what if that happens. I don't want babies, Donnie! You'll have to help me get rid of them, Donnie. Please."

"Sh. We'll cross that bridge if it happens. Do you think you can go back to sleep?"

"I don't know," Leo said, pulling away. "I keep seeing his face twisted in fury and lust looming down at me and I feel sick to my stomach. I don't think I'll ever get over it. My baby brother raped me, Donnie. It wasn't supposed to happen! How can I get over this? And how can Raph and I ever work through it and become close again? Just hearing his name chills my blood and makes me flatten my tail against my body! I'm petrified and there's no way I can be leader now. You'll have to be. I wish Dad were alive to help me and offer me pearls of wisdom, but maybe it's good he isn't, because he'd be revolted by his spineless, pathetic and tainted son. His son, who was fucked by his own brother and who couldn't fight back!"

"Stop saying that, Leo," Don said and rubbed Leo's shell in circular motions to calm him down. "We'll get through this. I promise. You're tough, Leo, and you can withstand anything. I'll be your support and so will Mikey. And stop blaming yourself. It wasn't your fault and it wasn't Raph's either. He was drugged. We'll return him to normal and you can talk to him when you're ready…."

Leo covered his face with his hands and said, "I doubt I'll ever be ready to talk to the brute and I don't want any babies. They'd be a constant reminder. I'll carry them if you can't terminate them, but I'll get rid of the eggs when I've laid them and you'll help me, Donnie. Please. And you won't tell Raphael if I'm gravid. He doesn't need to know. Assuming there's a chance Raphael and I'll mend things, having the eggs around won't help with that. It'll only complicate matters and cause unnecessary angst. Do you understand?"

"I do, Leo, but Raph would have the right to know…."

"He doesn't!" Leo yelled. "It's my body and my choice alone. Do I make myself clear?"

Not wishing to further enrage his brother, Donnie nodded and said, "Yes, Leo."

"Good. Rapists shouldn't have rights. I get he was drugged, but he still raped me. He doesn't get a say in anything and you should consider castration to prevent it happening again if you don't find a cure for him."

"Leo, that's a bit drastic," Don began, stunned Leo would think about that being done to one of his brothers.

"Drastic?" Leo said sneeringly. "Go through what I have. Then you'll understand why I said that! You think I want my brother castrated? No, but I'd need it done if there's no cure, so I'm not harmed again! I always place my brothers' welfare ahead of mine, but I'm thinking of myself first now. You have no idea what it's like being pinned down to the ground, while your baby brother ruts you like an animal! And besides, if he doesn't rape me again, he could turn on you or Mikey. Do you want that and Raphael plugging your hole or poor innocent Mikey's hole? Do you want that, Donnie?"

Don winced at Leo's bluntness and said miserably, "No. I'll do what you ask if I find no cure."

"Good."

An uncomfortable silence stretched for a few minutes. Then Don said, "Think you can sleep now, Leo?"

"Only if you stay with me. I'm sorry for biting your head off, Donnie, but I'm scared."

"There's no reason to apologize, Leo," Don said, mentally vowing to find the cure no matter what and to tell Raphael he was a dad if that happened. His brother deserved to know, no matter the circumstances in which the babies had been conceived.

Leo smiled weakly, lay down and closed his eyes. Don sang a lullaby that Splinter had sung to them when they were small and he watched as Leo soon fell asleep, his plastron rising and falling with his even breathing.

Leo was bewildered to find himself in an underground chamber, the walls closing in on either side. Panicked and desperately trying to climb up the walls, but without any success, he was relieved when he heard a female voice and saw a rope tossed down to him. Leo shimmied up it and kissed the ground. Never so grateful to be alive, as he was then. His exhilaration changed to grief and astonishment when a figure approached him, holding a severed head in its hands, the dark hair matted with blood and the pale face looking like a death mask.

The face he'd lovingly gazed into and had adored. His beloved.

Karai.

Stunned, Leo remained frozen to the spot, his mouth open in a silent scream.

"Leonardo, avenge my death. Then join me," Karai said. She placed the head on the ground and opened her arms, beckoning him closer. Arms that had once caressed him. The head rolled and stopped by Leo's feet. He took a step back in revulsion and shivered.

"Join me," Karai repeated and moved closer to him. Then her mouth slackened and her eyes stared vacantly at the sky. The beautiful almond-shaped eyes Leo had loved so much closed forever.

Leo let out an ear splitting wail, his heart shattered once again, his body trembling, as nausea bubbled in his belly and sweat beaded his forehead. His precious Karai was no more. Murdered by his brother.

Leo jerked awake, panicked, vaguely aware of someone talking to him and holding him close.

"Karai," Leo wept. "I saw her. She was standing right here."

"It's okay, Leo," Donnie said. "You had another bad dream. I've got you, okay?"

"He murdered her, Donnie!" Leo sobbed. "I loved her so much and she loved me. We were soulmates and so unbelievably happy together. Raphael robbed me of her, my takara, my soul, my heart. She was standing here and holding her severed head in her hands and she begged me to get revenge and then…."

"Leo, I'm going to give you something to calm you down and to help you sleep, okay?" Don said gently.

"I DON'T WANT FUCKING MEDICINE. I WANT KARAI BACK! How the hell am I supposed to carry on without her? I can't. I want to die. I want to be with her. I want the pain to end. Karai, my love, I miss you so much," Leo wept.

Feeling helpless at being unable to console his traumatized and grieving brother, Donnie stood and said, "I'll be right back, Leo."

"Don't leave me!" Leo shrieked. "He'll find me. Don't go."

"I'm not, Leo. I'm just getting some water from the sink there, okay? I'm not going to leave you." Donnie filled a glass with water from the sink and returned to Leo. Then he opened a drawer, took out two sleeping tablets and said, "Leo, I want you to take these, okay? I know you hate meds, but it'll help you get some rest."

"I DON'T WANT MEDICINE" Leo screamed, angrily shoving his brother aside. Then he rose to his feet and started throwing and kicking objects around, unleashing his rage, his grief and frustration on everything he could to Don's immense despair. Gone were several of his precious projects. Never had he seen Leo so worked up before.

"I'm going to kill Raphael!" Leo growled. "He took Karai away from me. He deserves death. I want him to bleed. I want to watch the light die out in his eyes!" Leo roared, as he kicked Don's lab desk, sending it crashing against the wall and sending bottles, beakers and canisters to the ground, their contents spilling out and forming a large puddle.

Donnie tried to stop him and grabbed his arm, but Leo was a force to be reckoned with when he was pissed and he lashed out at Don, kicking him in the plastron and sending him flying against the wall, his head hitting it with a sickening crack. Don crumpled to the ground in a heap, his eyes sliding closed.

Suddenly overcome with remorse by what he'd done to his brother and his fury abating, Leo crouched down by his brother's body and cradled him in his arms. "Donnie, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," he sobbed. "Please don't die. I didn't mean to hurt you. Please come back. I need you."

 **A/N Sorry for the long wait in updating. Was a bit stuck. Thanks for your patience and for following and reviewing the story.**

 **Is Donnie dead? Will Leo ever recover?**


	7. The cure

Raphael entered the chamber and scowled, when he saw that Leo wasn't there. Only Karai's head remained, the eyes seeming to mock the emerald skinned turtle. Enraged and snarling, his green eyes flashing, he kicked out at the head and watched it roll to a stop by the opposite wall.

"How the fuck did ya escape, Leo?" Raphael yelled. "Maybe it was Donnie and Mikey, who helped ya. Fuck them. They're gonna pay for takin' ya from me. Yer mine. I'm gonna reclaim ya and never let ya go!"

Raphael stalked out and headed to the lair.

XXXX

Mikey entered the laboratory and saw his brothers sitting on the floor, Leo holding Donnie's hand.

"What happened, Leo?" Mikey asked in alarm. "I heard crashing and the sound of things breaking."  
"I lashed out at Donnie and he crashed into the wall," Leo said tearfully. "I was so mad after everything that happened and I…I hurt our brother, Mikey. What kind of brother am I?"  
"Someone, who's suffering. It's unlike you to have a meltdown. Why did it happen, Leo," Mikey asked, as he checked Donnie's pulse. "He's unconscious. Probably has concussion and he should wake up soon."  
"What happened, Leo? We rescued you, but I don't know the facts."  
"Raph raped me, Mikey. He was like an animal!" Leo said, blinking back tears at the memory. "He fucked me over and over again and called me his mate. He was savage. He even raped me with his sai in a bid to dominate me. It worked. I was a blubbering mess. Me, the so called Fearless Leader," Leo choked out. "I'm supposed to be courageous, Mikey, but I sobbed like a baby and he didn't care. All he wanted was sex and to dominate and he killed Karai, because he thought she was competition for my affection. My treasured Karai. He placed her head near me to taunt me. Oh, Mikey. I loved her so much and now she's gone. My takara!"  
"Oh, Leo. I'm so sorry," Mikey said sadly and dropped to his knees. He folded Leo into a hug and said, "We'll get through this, Leo. I swear we will, bro, and no one will ever harm you again. Do you know why Raph did that, because he'd never do anything to hurt you? He loves you and idolizes you, although he'd never admit it. You're his hero and he lives for your praise."  
"Donnie suspects he was drugged and reduced to his primal state, so all he'd think about was sex, rutting and breeding….."  
"Good thing you can't have babies then. Who'd do that to Raph and why?"  
"One of our enemies. Probably Shredder, so that we'd be too focussed on our sexual needs than protecting the city. Mikey, there's something you should know. I'm intersex, which means there's a good chance I'm going to fall gravid with Raph's babies. I don't want that, Mikey. It'd be a constant reminder of the abuse and I….I want you to dump the eggs when I lay them. I don't care where…..Promise me you'll do that."  
"Leo…."  
"PROMISE ME! I also don't want Raph around me. I can't face him now. Maybe not ever, okay?"  
"Leo, I…."  
"Mikey, promise me. Please, little brother. I couldn't be a parent to those kids and give them what they deserve and need. I couldn't. They'd just be a constant source of pain to me and I….I don't want that and Raph isn't equipped to be a parent. I don't think he'd want the babies either, because if he's cured, he'll be ashamed of his actions and want no reminders of it all."  
"Leo, I understand you're hurting, but the babies are innocents. You're all innocents. Even Raph. He was drugged and not himself."  
"I've made up my mind, Mikey. I'm getting rid of them. They're mine and I can do as I please," Leo said firmly. "Nothing you can do or say will sway me."

Donnie came to and said complainingly, as he opened his eyes, "My head hurts. Man, I feel like I was hit by a train."  
"Donnie, you're awake," Leo said joyously. "I thought I'd lost you. I'm so sorry. I don't know what came over me. How are you feeling?"  
"Other than the splitting headache, I'm fine," Donnie said, sitting up. "I think I have concussion. It may take a few weeks to clear. How are you?"  
"I'm mortified I hurt you. I'm so sorry. I was so angry all I wanted to do was lash out and….Please forgive me."  
"It's the trauma you've been through, Leo. I understand and I forgive you. I'd probably have done the same thing if I'd endured what you have."

"Leo told me what happened, Donnie," Mikey said. "I can't believe Raph hurt him. Our temperamental brother's always been a spitfire, but he'd never intentionally hurt us. Leo said that you believe Raph was drugged. That makes sense."  
"I do, which means I need to find a cure and we need to find Raph."

"No!" Leo screamed, his sapphire eyes wide in panic. "He can't return here. He'll get me and I can't go through that again. I can't. Have you any idea what it's like being pinned to the ground and your little brother rapes you, but you're powerless? It's soul destroying and I can't go through that again. I can't."  
"Leo, we won't let that happen," Donnie said and hugged Leo. "Me and Mikey will shoot him with a tranquilizer dart and will keep him tied up until I have a cure. If you're that afraid, I'll turn his room into a virtual prison with a steel door."  
"What about if he's cured? I still don't want him near me."  
"Me and Mikey will guard you day and night until you're ready to talk to him. I hope someday you'll see that it wasn't really his fault. It was the drugs and I hope you'll forgive him. The Shredder or whoever will have won and will have succeeded in destroying our family if you don't. You don't have to now, Leo. I'm just saying."  
"I know," Leo said, pulling away. "I know it technically wasn't his fault, but I still can't forgive him, Donnie. Not that and maybe not ever. You haven't a clue what it was like and maybe if you did, you'd have more empathy for me instead of the rapist!"

Donnie flinched, as if he'd been kicked in the gut. Leo had a point. It did seem that he was more sympathetic towards Raphael, but he didn't mean to be. He loved both of his brothers and felt like he was in the middle.

"You're right, Leo," Donnie said. "I don't know what it's like, but I do know you have to forgive him someday, because the hatred and rage you feel will only consume you if you don't. I know Raph will be torn up and devastated that he hurt you. He'll do everything he can to earn your forgiveness and he won't live with himself if he doesn't get it. He also may not be able to forgive himself and if you forgive him, maybe he can try to forgive himself. Do you understand?"  
"I do, but he might never get my forgiveness, Donnie, and that's something you'll have to deal with. It's not like a petty fight. It was rape, Donnie. Do you grasp that? He violated me in the worst possible way and murdered Karai! How am I supposed to move on from that? She was my true love and I….You know what? You clearly love Raph more than me and are siding with him!"

"He's not!" Mikey said quickly. "Leo, look, bro, I know you're hurting, but our family's fractured now and your forgiving Raph will be the only way of mending it. I'm not saying now, Leo. No. Take all the time you need and know you have our support and love. That's what Donnie means. We love you so much, bro."  
"Mikey, there's a chance the family may never become whole again and it's not because I'm being difficult. I just don't know if I can forgive what happened, even if it was technically not his fault. Anyway, we're talking in circles. I'm going to bed…."

"YER MINE!" Raphael growled, his green eyes blazing, as he entered the lab and saw his 'mate'. "Mine, Leo. Not theirs. Ya belong ta me."  
"No!" Leo yelled and clung to Donnie. "Don't let him get me. Don't!"

Mikey sprang to his feet, saw a syringe on the table, grabbed it surreptitiously and hid it behind his back.

"Raph, you don't want to do this," Mikey said. "You don't want to hurt Leo. He's our brother and you love him. Don't you remember?"  
"HE'S MY MATE. PISS OFF, MIKEY, AND GET OUTTA MY WAY!"

Mikey suddenly charged at Raphael, knocking him to the ground and then quickly injecting him in the shoulder.

Raphael howled in rage, wrapped his arms around Mikey's neck and sank his teeth into Mikey's arm, eliciting a shriek from him, but the damage was done.

Donnie smiled. The syringe contained a powerful liquid that'd send Raphael into dreamland. Donnie and his brothers sometimes suffered from insomnia and he'd finally perfected a sleeping potion. One he'd planned on using that night.

"Ya dirty bastard!" Raphael hissed, "I'm gonna….." He never finished his sentence, because the drug took affect and he drifted off to sleep, his arms falling at his side.

"Mikey, you saved us," Leo said and heaved a relieved sigh. "Thank you."  
"No problem. Let's tie him up before he wakes."

Donnie and Mikey quickly bound Raphael to a stretcher.

"Leo, why don't you get some rest?" Mikey said. "We'll stay with Raph."  
"All right. I'll try, but….You sure he won't break those bonds?"  
"Not even you could, Leo. Rest now."  
"All right. I'll try," Leo said and headed to his room.

XXXX

Donnie typed frantically on his keyboard, looking for a cure for their out of control brother.

Two hours later, Donnie announced he thought he'd found one and concocted a potion.

Raphael woke up and growled, when he realized he was tied up, "Ya bastards. Let me go. Leo's mine. Not yers. My mate."  
"Leo's not your mate, dude," Mikey said. "He's your brother. That's all. I know you didn't mean to harm Leo, Raph. It was the drugs and Donnie's going to find the cure, okay? You're going to return to your old self and our family will…."  
"HE'S MINE!" Raphael screamed, yanking on the bonds, his eyes and face looking wild and feral, a look Mikey had never seen before and which frightened him.

"Donnie, quick," Mikey said. "Hurry with the cure. I'm afraid he's going to break the bonds. He's crazed and there's no telling what he can do with his rage. Donnie, quick."  
"I'm hurrying as best as I can, Mikey. I thought you said they were so tight he couldn't break them."  
"I thought so too, but rage and strong determination can do anything!"

Raphael snarled, "Let me go!" He yanked harder on the ties and grinned in satisfaction, when his left arm was free. Now it was only a matter of seconds before the rest of him would be.

"Donnie!" Mikey shouted. "Donnie!"  
"Got it!" Donnie said and quickly injected the syringe into Raphael's shoulder.

The emerald skinned turtle hissed in pain and swung a punch at the genius, who winced and rubbed his aching jaw.

"Ya asshole," Raphael roared, freeing his right hand and then his legs, his green eyes flashing dangerously. "Now yer gonna get it. Both of ya…."

Raphael blinked, as if he'd been in a fog, as the drug took affect.

"W-what's goin' on?" Raphael asked. "Why am I in the lab? Why are ya lookin' at me in trepidation?"  
"You don't know what happened, Raph?" Donnie asked.  
"I remember my party and Shredder and then nothin'. What happened?"  
"There's no easy way to say this, Raph, but we think Shredder injected you with a drug to reduce you to your primal needs, so you'd seduce us , we'd be focused on that and wouldn't care about protecting the city. But the kicker is…." Donnie swallowed hard and said, "You forced yourself on Leo. You raped him and murdered Karai."

Shock, mortification and disbelief flashed on Raphael's face.

"Yer jokin', right?" Raphael asked, horrified. "Tell me ya are. I wouldn't hurt Leo or none of ya. Tell me yer makin' it up…."  
"No and another mind fuck is Leo could have your babies," Mikey said. "He's intersex."  
"Babies?" Raphael whispered, the color draining from his face. "I'm gonna be a daddy?"  
"That's right…."  
"I'm a monster," Raphael said wretchedly, as tears filled his eyes. "I raped my brother and there are gonna be babies. I don't deserve ta live. Kill me."  
"No! That wasn't you, Raph. That was the drugs and it turned you into a sex crazed zombie. You don't even remember what you did. Bro, we know you'd never have hurt Leo or any or us."  
"I WANNA DIE!" Raphael screamed, the full weight of what he'd done consuming him. Guilt gnawed at his soul, even though he knew technically it wasn't his fault. "I'd never hurt Leo. Kill me, please. I don't wanna live with the shame and….Please… I can't live with knowin' what I've done and that Leo probably hates me."

"Sorry, Raph, but we're not losing you," Donnie said and injected his arm. "This'll calm you down. Raph, and will allow you to sleep. It wasn't your fault. Leo knows that and he'll forgive you someday. I know he will…"  
"I'll never forgive myself and I wanna die," Raphael muttered, tears streaming down his cheeks. "Leo, oh, Leo. I wanna die. I'm so sorry. Please forgive me. Please, please."

The drug took affect and Raphael fell asleep.

Mikey and Donnie watched him, knowing that their family life as they'd known it was over. The family was fractured and bonds were severed. Maybe forever and they had no idea how to fix it.

They had two broken brothers and how were they going to heal them and the immense rift between them? And what if there were babies? Could they really do as Leo wished and dispose of them?

No, Donnie thought. I won't do that. I'll raise them myself if I have to, but I won't get rid of them. They're innocents and need and deserve love.

 **A/N Will the family ever heal? Will Raph want the babies?**


	8. Raphael's dark secret

Raphael woke four hours later in the early hours of December 24 and saw that he was still in the lab.

Mikey sat by his bedside and said, when he saw him stirring, "Hey, Raph."  
"It was just a nightmare, right, Mikey?" Raphael asked hopefully. "Tell me I didn't hurt Fearless."  
"You did, but we'll get through this, Raph.  
"Are there really gonna be babies?"  
"It's a possibility. Leo doesn't want them and wants me to dump the eggs wherever. It's not that he blames them, but they'd be a constant reminder, you know. You probably feel the same way, which is a normal reaction and Leo doesn't want you to have them. It's his body, so he gets to make the decisions. Can I bring you anything to eat and drink?"  
"Yer talkin' 'bout gettin' ridda my kids, like yer takin' out the trash," Raphael said irately. "They're mine too and I got a say in what happens ta them."  
"You don't. Leo says…."  
"I get I hurt Leo, Mikey, and I ain't gonna forgive myself for that, but the kids are mine as well and I got a say. I want them."  
"Raph, they'd be a constant….."  
"They're mine."  
"You're fifteen-years-old and clueless about caring for a kid. Your room looks like a tornado hit it. You're aggressive, immature, impulsive, stubborn, impatient. How the heck can you look after a kid when you can't even look after yourself? Me and Donnie would be better parents. You….."  
"Ya know nothin' 'bout me, Mikey. I'm all that, sure, but I got heart and love and I want my babies if there are any. I won't be perfect, but I'll do my best ta be a good daddy and I… I hope when Leo sees that, that some of his hatred towards me will abate. I'll cope and there ain't no changin' my mind. They're my only shot at bein' a daddy and I'm takin' it. I'll move away if I gotta, but I ain't havin' my kids dumped in the middle of nowhere, like they're garbage."  
"Raph, if you're hoping that looking after the kids will make Leo fall in love with you, it won't, okay? Life doesn't happen that way. I want to ask something and I want you to be truthful. You told us you remembered nothing and that you were in a zombie like state, but were you really or do you remember what happened?"  
"I don't remember nothin' and I don't want my kids, so I can woo Leo. Damn it, Mikey. He's my brother. I ain't never considered him as nothin' else. It'd be fuckin' twisted and Sensei would roll in his grave."  
"It'd be a strange situation, yes, but it's not uncommon in the wild for turtles if no others are around and there are only four of our kind, so it'd make sense if we turned to one another."  
"The idea of bein' with anyone of ya sickens me ta the core. I like chicks. What's wrong with ya, Mikey? Are ya high or somethin'? Have ya considered any of us that way?"  
"Yes. You. I've always liked you and been drawn to you, Raph, but I was too shy to say anything."  
Raphael's eyes green eyes widened in horror and he said, "Is this some kinda prank of yers?"  
"No, Raph. I love you. I always have. Everything about you. I don't think you really like girls. You pretend to, but you really want a guy. A guy, who can give you all you deserve and need. I could be that guy if you let me. We get along great, so it makes sense to move to the next level, right?"  
"Mikey…"  
"You don't want a girl, least of all Irma. That nerd's got nothing on me. Have you considered any of us?"  
"I told ya no. I'm straight."  
"Then why were you always so jealous when Karai was around Leo? I know why. You secretly love him and the drug reinforced it. You were just always too shy to voice your feelings."  
"Because Leo had someone and I had no one. That's all. Yer perverted. I ain't never…."  
"Yeah, yeah, keep denying it, Raph, but I think that's why you really want the kids. You want Leo. You always have. Just not by force. Admit it. That little crush on Irma was just that. A harmless little crush you fixated on, because you thought loving us was wrong!"  
"FUCK OFF, MIKEY!" Raphael yelled, his green eyes flashing. "Fuck off."  
"Did I hit a nerve? Admit it, Raph."

Raphael drew a shaky breath and swallowed. How had Mikey guessed his darkest secret, when he'd worked so hard to hide it? How?

"Sensei always said it was sinful lovin' one another," Raphael said. "He told us we'd go ta hell if we did. Do ya remember, Mikey?"  
"Yes."  
"I always loved Leo more than ya guys, but I knew I was in love with him, when I turned thirteen. All I could think 'bout was him, his gorgeous eyes and his beatific smile, which could light up the darkest room. I felt butterflies and all gooey whenever he was 'round. I wrote 'bout him nonstop in my journals and 'bout how much I loved him. I masturbated ta photos of him. Ya get the drift. Late one night, I was wankin' off ta a photo of Leo, when the door opened and Sensei entered the room ta say goodnight. I was so entranced in what I was doin' that I didn't hear him. He heard my churrs and me callin' out Leo's name and he was the most incensed I've ever seen him. He yanked me ta my feet and gave me a sound thrashin' with his cane, tellin' me I was sick and perverted for havin' those thoughts 'bout my brother. He told me he'd cast me out if I continued havin' those thoughts and urged me ta change my ways. I was so afraid of him, Mikey, and I started believin' he was right, because no guy should have those thoughts 'bout his brother. I did everythin' I could ta stop thinkin' 'bout Leo. Then Irma came into our lives and I thought, wow. I can focus on her and it's normal, ya know, and no one will think me twisted."  
"But Sensei's been gone a year, Raph. You could have asked Leo out."  
"Yeah, but I was ashamed 'bout my feelings after what Dad did. I told myself I liked Irma and had hopes of datin' her. Crazy, I know, but better than lovin' Leo. Now I've violated him in the worst possible way, so even if I still liked him, he wouldn't like me back."  
"Wow. That's so messed up. Do you still like him? You can talk to me."  
"I told myself for the longest time that I didn't and focused on Irma, but …Yeah, Mikey. I'll always love Leo, but he's more unattainable than Irma."  
"You should have liked me. It'd be less complicated."  
"No offence, Mike, but I'm not into ya and never have been. Ya belong with someone like Donnie. I'd only bring ya heartache."  
"So, what would you do if Leo did fall in love with you?"  
"I'd be a lucky and happy guy, but that ain't gonna happen and neither will Irma. I'd settle for Leo just forgivin' me. The thought of him hatin' me forever cuts like a knife. Then I could be at peace. Knowin' I've inflicted so much trauma, grief and agony on the person I love most hurts so much. More than any injuries I've suffered. I'd lay down my life for all of ya, but Leo….He's…different…I love him more than I love myself. He's noble, passionate, carin', honest, sensitive, sweet and I….I hate what I've done ta him, Mike, and indirectly ta the family. Shredder knew what he was doin'. He wanted our family destroyed and he succeeded."  
"Raph, he hasn't won. Our family will heal and you and Leo will make peace. I believe it. Leo loves you and he could never hate you…"  
"Yeah? This ain't a mere spat, Mike. I raped him, okay? Ya don't just get over it and sometimes ya never do, so I gotta…I pray he'll forgive me, but he probably won't. I don't blame him and I don't know if I could. My babies….My babies will be my life and my sole focus. Sure they're a reminder of what happened, but I don't see it that way. I see it as the life I could have had with Leo had we been together in a lovin' relationship. I view them with love and affection. I love them so much, even though they ain't born and I don't even know if they will be, because they're Leo's and nothin' of Leo's can be bad, right, even if they got my DNA as well?"  
"You're not a bad guy, Raph. It was the drugs. You're a great guy and if you're serious about the kids, I'll help you and so will Donnie."  
"Thanks. I'm serious, Mike. I ain't never been so serious before. I like the names Rosa and Madeleine if they're girls and if there are boys, I like Leo and Max. Don't tell no one 'bout our convo."  
"Scout's honor. Do you want anything to eat or drink?"  
"No, thanks. Hey, Mike? Ya should talk ta Donnie and see if he wants ta go out with ya. No harm tryin' and who knows, ya could be meant for one another."  
"I might. I'll bring something for you to eat."  
"I don't want nothin'."  
"You should eat. I'll be back shortly. Raph, we'll get through this and I hope you have your happy ending with Leo. I know you wouldn't intentionally hurt him. He knows that and he'll come around. You'll see. Have faith. Bye for now."

Nah, Raphael thought miserably, as tears rained down his face. Leo ain't gonna forgive me and we ain't gonna get together, but I swear I'll love any babies with every fiber of my bein' and will be the daddy they need and deserve.

 **A/N So Raph's always loved Leo. Will he ever forgive himself?**


	9. Leo snaps

Leo clutched a photo of Karai to his plastron, tears streaming down his cheeks, and thought, we had so many plans and now they're gone and all because of Raphael. My darling. I couldn't help her in her darkest hour. All I could do was lie there, as Raphael mercilessly slaughtered her. He has to pay and he will. I want him to suffer and him to die. It's the only way he can atone for his actions. He gave Karai no mercy and he deserves none.

Leo placed the photo on the bed, stood up, grabbed his katana and headed to the infirmary.

XXXX

Leo entered the infirmary, saw that Mikey had nodded off in his chair and contemptuously regarded a sleeping Raphael.

"Now you die," Leo whispered and raised his katana. "An eye for an eye."

Mikey suddenly woke and launched himself at Leo, knocking him to the ground and yelling for Donnie's help.

Mikey screamed when he was flipped over and the katana pierced his shoulder, blood immediately gushing out of the wound.

"What's goin' on?" a sleepy Raphael asked, opening his eyes and gazing at his warring brothers.

Donnie arrived, took in the scene and managed to drag Leo off of Mikey.

"What the hell happened?" Donnie asked, tending to Mikey's shoulder.  
"It hurts, Donnie!" Mikey whined. "I think it needs stitching."  
"You're going to be fine."

"I didn't mean to hurt him, Donnie!" Leo said apologetically. "I just wanted to get at that bastard, but Mikey wouldn't let me and somehow the katana pierced him and... I'm sorry!"  
"Get out, Leo!" Donnie shouted, his eyes blazing. "Get out. I understand you're mad at Raph, but violence isn't the answer! Mikey could have died and what if you had killed Raph? Get the hell out and go to your room!"

"No. I'll leave," Raphael said in a broken voice.  
"Yeah. Leave, you piece of shit," Leo growled. "And don't come back. You're not wanted and you won't be so lucky next time! I never want to see you again. You're dead to me, Raphael. You have five minutes to pack. I don't care where you go. Just fucking leave."

"I don't want Raph to leave, Leo!" Mikey said. "It's Christmas. Come on, Leo. Please."  
"I'm leader and he goes. Dad would have wanted it. I want it. What are you waiting for, Raphael? A hug goodbye? Just fucking go!"

"Raph," Mikey wept, as his emerald skinned brother got out of bed. "Don't go. Raph, please."  
"I gotta, Mikey, but ya guys can visit me. I love ya and Donnie. Leo, I love ya and I woulda never willingly hurt ya. I hope someday ya can forgive me and…."

"He's not leaving," Donnie snapped, rising to his feet and staring evenly at Leo. "He caused tremendous heartache, I get that, but it was the damn drugs and he doesn't even remember doing it. He loves you, Leo. More than he loves us. You're his hero and he's suffering knowing what he did to you. I'm not taking sides, okay? All we've got is the four of us, Leo. How can we ever get past this and heal our family if he leaves? How? And besides, where the shit would Raph go? All he knows is the sewers and us. You can't, Leo. Avoid him if you have to, but banishment? No. I won't allow it and if you banish him, me and Mikey will go with him. What do you say about that, Leo? Do you really want to lose us all? Is that what you want, especially at Christmas?"

Donnie never challenged Leo, so they all stared at him in astonishment, their jaws dropped.

"Keep him out of my fucking sight," Leo growled, now composed, his sapphire eyes blazing. "I mean it, Donnie, and you should know this family may never heal. You can thank Raphael for that and stay away from me as well."

Leo stomped off to his room.

"Donnie, ya shoulda let me go," Raphael said. "Leo's gonna be on the warpath with ya now as well."  
"I can handle him and he can never stay mad at me for long. I love you, Raph, and we'll never abandon you, okay? You'll always be our brother."  
"Love ya too," Raphael said, his green eyes filling with tears. "Thank ya."

"You're welcome," Donnie said and got out his medical kit. "Mikey, I think you need twelve stitches. It won't take long," he added and cleaned Mikey's wound.  
Mikey nodded and said bravely, "Thank you. I hope Leo forgives Raph someday and that our family will heal. That'd be the best gift ever."  
"It'll happen. Leo still loves Raph and couldn't hate him forever. He's just hurting, Mikey," Don said and started stitching Mikey's shoulder.

Mikey winced, but he didn't cry.

"Nah. He ain't never gonna forgive me," Raphael said sadly. "Ya know it and so do I. That's the reality, so stop thinkin' it's gonna be roses and a happy family. It ain't, okay? Leo loved Karai. Could ya forgive someone, who killed yer sweetheart and who raped ya? Could ya? Can ya honestly say ya could do that? I don't know if I could, so I understand how Leo's feelin' and I also understand if he don't want kids born of our romps. Would ya want that millstone and a reminder of yer biggest shame? Can ya imagine how our leader, who's always been the pinnacle of virtue, feels? And he probably wanted his first time ta be with Karai, but it was with me, his damn brother. No wonder he's so pissed and repulsed. Ya would be too. Don't judge Leo or accuse him of bein' an ass. He ain't bein' one and I'll punch ya if ya call him one. He's tryin' ta deal with it. Sure, it ain't how ya think he should act, but who are ya ta judge him? Ya ain't walked in his shoes. I get ya love me and want me ta stay, but try ta see things from his perspective."  
Donnie said, "You have a point. We haven't experienced what he has, but we hope he'll find it in his heart to forgive. He has to for his own good and yours."  
"Yeah. I suppose, but don't pressure him. It's his call, okay? If he decides he don't never wanna forgive me, ya gotta accept it. Just like I gotta. I mean, I'll miss him and I'll always love him, but I'll respect his choice and remember just because he hates me don't mean he don't love ya, okay? He loves the shit outta ya guys and there ain't nothin' he wouldn't do for ya, so don't judge him for his behavior towards me and be civil and kind ta him. He needs yer support just as much as I do."

"All right," Mikey said.

"He has it, but he must stop thinking I'm taking sides," Donnie said and bandaged Mikey's wound. "I'm not, Raph."  
"I know that, genius, but he's so mad right now, he can't see straight and sees any love ta me that way, okay? Try ta understand his point of view. He's been raped by his brother. I still did it, even though it was the drugs. I fucked him, subdued him. Have ya any idea how soul-destroyin' that must be? He also prides himself on his masculinity and bein' raped by a man, especially yer brother and then possible kids is a mind fuck of note. Poor Leo. No wonder he's a train wreck and all ya two is judge him for his callous behavior of me. See it from his point of view. Please."  
"I'm trying."

"I kind of do," Mikey said. "But he has to…."  
"No," Raphael chimed in. "He doesn't gotta do shit, Mike. That's the thing. He can do what he want and no matter what decision he ultimately makes, ya gotta accept it and still gotta be there for him. I might not always be here and he needs ya guys."

"You're leaving, Raph?" Donnie said in astonishment. "Are you serious? Where will you go?"  
"I am if there are babies. I won't have them subjected ta a hostile environment. Fuck. It's one thing for me ta endure it and I can, but them? They don't deserve it and they never asked for none of the shit. I didn't neither, but I'm old enough ta deal with that and Leo's hostility. They ain't and I don't want them ta know it. I only want them ta know love and peace. And before ya ask, ya can visit me all ya like. I'll still be in the sewers. Just not at the lair."

"But how will you cope?" Mikey asked. "You don't know a thing about babies, Raph. Can't we live with you?"  
"I'll learn. Who knows, maybe a miracle will happen and Leo will wanna know his kids? I'd be happy for them if they did. Every kid deserves two parents. That's the best I could hope for and I'd settle with that, because after that scene with Leo, ya can see that I will probably never get forgiveness, as much as I'd love it. I'd give anythin' for it. Even my life, because I love Leo and nothin' will change that. Ya can't live with me. Leo needs ya. I'm goin' ta sleep. I'll bake cookies and do whatever in the mornin', but remember what I said 'bout Leo. Respect him and love him."  
"Raph, are you sure you can handle the responsibility?"  
"No. I ain't sure, but I'll do my damndest ta be a good daddy 'cause they deserve that. I love them already so much it hurts. That's insane, because I don't even know if there are gonna be babies. I wanna protect them and love them, ya know? They'll be a reminder of Leo and the love he once had for me, so how can they be wrong, even if the circumstances were?"

"Man, you're a remarkable guy to be so understanding, Raph," Donnie said in awe. "And so brave to accept the kids."  
"They're still mine, ya know. I couldn't turn them away. They need me. I'm gonna get some rest. Ya can stay with me if ya like. Move the stretchers closer, but no snorin', Mikey."  
"Dude, that's not me. You snore. I hope you and Leo have your happy ending!"

"What do you mean by that, Mikey?" Donnie asked.

Raphael glowered at Mikey and said, "I love Leo more than a brother, Donnie. I always have, but I denied my feelings, because Sensei said it was wrong and he beat me when he heard me wankin' off ta a photo of Leo. I want the kids, because I love them and because they also represent what me and Leo coulda had if there was romantic love. Maybe that's twisted and fucked up, but…."  
"It's not, Raph, because Leo had the same thoughts about you. I shouldn't tell you, but…You…He asked Sensei's permission to court you two years ago and Sensei freaked out, thrashed him and called him a deviant for loving his brother. He told me, because we were always close. He ignored his feelings for you, thinking it was sinful. Then he met Karai and focused on her. Don't tell him you know. He'll be furious."  
"Man, so much coulda been avoided if we'd been allowed ta date," Raphael said despondently. "None of this woulda happened. Fuck Sensei and just because Karai's gone don't mean Leo's gonna admit he loves me. Not after everythin'."

"Miracles happen, Raph," Mikey said. "Maybe the kids will bring you guys together. I'm hoping so anyway and that our family will be what it used to be."

Raphael said nothing and climbed into bed.

Donnie and Mikey pushed the stretchers next to Raphael's and got into bed.

"Night Raph. I love you," Donnie said.

"Love you guys," Mikey said.

"Love ya guys too," Raphael said and closed his eyes.

Why couldn't Sensei have let us be together, Raphael thought? It'd have saved so much heartache. Will the kids really bring us together? No. Leo won't let that happen and he's gonna hate me for the resta my life. I gotta leave and I will when the babies hatch. My priority is them and they're gonna have the best life.

 **A/N Next up, a not so merry Christmas.**


	10. A not so merry Christmas

Mikey woke up at seven a.m. on December 24 and got up quietly, so that he wouldn't wake his sleeping brothers. He headed to the kitchen, determined that he'd still celebrate Christmas, even if others weren't in the mood. He badly needed something to cheer him up after all the drama and what better way than Christmas?

XXXX

Mikey got out his baking equipment and was mixing batter for his turtle gingerbread men, when Leo padded into the kitchen.

"Morning, Leo," Mikey said cheerfully. "Isn't it a lovely day?"  
"What's lovely about it, Mikey? It's just like any other shit day without Karai," Leo snapped.  
"It's Christmas, dude. I'm making my gingerbread men and all the treats we love. Want to help? You know you love licking the bowls."  
"I'm not in the mood," Leo said sourly and went to the counter to brew mint tea.  
"But you love Christmas! It's your favorite holiday."  
"I'm not in the mood to celebrate! Would you be if you'd lost your love?" Leo hissed, whirling around and shooting daggers at Mikey. "You have as much sensitivity as a fucking rock. How can you expect me just to act like everything is okay and fucking celebrate? It's not okay and never will be! You can thank Raphael for that!"

"Back off Mikey," Raphael said softly, entering the kitchen and seeing Mikey's eyes brimming with tears. "He's just tryin' ta make things better the way he knows how. He don't mean ta be insensitive, Leo. I've explained how ya feel and…"  
"You have no idea how I fucking feel!" Leo yelled. "No one does, so don't you fucking speak for me, Raphael! I'm going to my room. I'm not celebrating this farce of a holiday. What the hell do I have to celebrate, huh? A lifetime of no Karai and sharing a house with a rapist and a murderer? Don't look at me that way, Mikey. Raphael is both and I most certainly am not sitting around a table celebrating Christmas with him, when I fucking despise him."  
"Yer right, Leo, but this holiday's important ta Mikey. Sit at the dinner table with him. I won't be there."  
"Got more people to murder and rape?" Leo said sarcastically.

"STOP IT!" Mikey screamed. "Damn you guys. Leo, I understand you're mad at Raph, but this is Christmas and all we have is each other. Please sit at the same table. You don't have to talk to one another, but please. This is important to me. Please, please. You can go back to your feud after Christmas if you have to. Casey and April are coming over tomorrow and I'm planning on going all out. Please!"

Mikey turned his puppy dog eyes on his brothers, who'd never been able to refuse him.

"Fine," Leo growled. "I'll pretend for you, Mikey." He grabbed his now brewed tea and stomped off to his room.

"What about you, Raph?" Mikey asked.  
"I don't feel like celebratin', Mikey, but I'll pretend for ya. Now, what do ya want me ta do?"  
"Stir this, while I get breakfast going. I'm making pumpkin fritters, bacon, eggs and hash browns, so I hope you're hungry."

Raphael smiled at his brother's enthusiasm and thought, Mikey's heart's in the right place. Bless him. I hope Leo don't create a scene and ruins things for him.

Don joined them a few minutes later and said, "Smells awesome in here. What are you making, Mikey?"  
"Pumpkin fritters, hash browns, eggs and bacon and Raph's stirring the gingerbread men mix. I'm making roast pork, apple sauce, mashed potatoes and squash for tonight. The turkey's defrosting and we're having sage stuffing, brussel sprouts, hasselback potatoes, carrots and salad with it tomorrow. I also hope to make my mince pies, a blackcurrant cheesecake, apple strudels, raspberry tarts and a key lime pie that Leo loves so much. It's a lot, but I should it get done if you all chip in. I want you guys to also decorate the lair, so it's more festive."  
"You got it. How's Leo this morning? Have you seen him?"  
"Leo was pissy, but he said he'd join in. Donnie, peel the apples. Breakfast will be ready in ten minutes or so."

The brothers worked on their designated jobs and when breakfast was ready, Don went to get Leo.

XXXX

Don knocked on Leo's door and said, "Breakfast's ready, Leo."  
Leo opened the door and said, "I'm only doing this for Mikey."

The leader pushed past Don and went to the kitchen.

Don sighed and thought, as he followed Leo, this is going to be a dreadful Christmas. I just know it.

XXXX

The brothers tucked in to breakfast, but other than Mikey and Don's valiant efforts to make conversation, nothing was said, the tension thick and unbearable.

"So," Mikey said. "Have you guys finished wrapping your presents?"  
"No. I got a few things ta get still," Raphael said sheepishly. "I'm heading' out late tonight."

"Don't bother getting me anything," Leo said coldly. "Because you're not getting shit from me."  
"Leo, you said you'd join in," Mikey said. "That includes presents. Please. You have to…."  
"I did, but I didn't say I'd get that a present and I won't. It's one thing faking we're a happy family for your benefit, Mikey, but presents? Really? I won't. I'm done and am going to meditate. See you at dinner!"

Leo got up and stalked to his room.

"I'll talk to him," Donnie said.  
"Don't, Donnie," Raphael said. "Think how he's feelin'. Ya asked him ta celebrate Christmas with the person he hates most. He's doin' it, because he loves ya guys. That says a lot 'bout his character and he's already doin' enough, okay? Drop the present thing. It don't matter."

"But it does, Raph. We always get one another gifts," Mikey said.  
"Sure, but the real meanin' of Christmas is family, Mike, and Leo bein' at the table with us and bein' there is enough. Push him anymore and he might leave. He ain't in no frame of mind ta be alone, because there's no tellin' what he might do if he snaps again. PTSD and all that. Do ya understand? So go easy on him."

"You're so smart," Don said. "Perceptive and mature, Raph, and your love for Leo shines through. I'm stunned."  
Raphael shrugged and said, "There are more layers ta me than ya think. Always have been and I'll always love Leo, even if he loathes me forever. I'll wash up. Ya guys get back ta work."

Raphael cleared the dishes and washed up, while the others returned to their assigned tasks.

XXXX

Leo punched a practice dummy in his room he'd set up for the rare moments he experienced immense rage and then he decided to go out. If Mikey wanted him to get presents, he would and he knew just the one for Raphael. Of course, it'd create a ton of friction, but it'd be worth it when he saw Raphael's facial expression. One of shock and mortification that his big brother could be so callous.

Leo left the lair and searched for the chamber in which Raphael had imprisoned him. It took him a long time and he wasn't sure it was the right one, but he knew it was when the strong scent of death filled his nostrils, as he stood at the entrance. Steeling himself, he took a deep breath and went inside.

XXXX

The room stank of sweat, sex and putrefaction and Leo wrinkled his beak in disgust. This was definitely the place, where he'd endured the unspeakable and lost his beloved.

Leo spied Karai's head in the corner and a mixture of emotions coursed through him: grief, rage, love and revulsion. That was all that remained of her.

Trying not to vomit, he forced himself to look at her more closely, trying to see what he'd loved so much when she'd been alive, but all he saw was her face twisted in a grisly smile and her unseeing eyes. Eyes that had radiated immense love for him.

A corpse on the verge of decomposition. That was all she was now. He'd never hear her laugh or feel her warm embrace again.

Sinking to his knees, Leo let out an anguished howl and wept for her, for them and for their shattered dreams.

Dreams that had been destroyed, because of Raphael.

"I love you, Karai," Leo choked out, tears streaming down his cheeks. He picked up the head, cradled it to his plastron and said, "I love you so much and I'm sorry I couldn't help you. I'll never stop blaming myself and I'll never stop loving you and missing you with every fiber of my being."

A worm slithered out of her left eye socket and peered at Leo.

"Ugh!" Leo said and shivered in revulsion, as he dropped the head, which rolled a few feet away. "I can't believe this is all you are now, my baby. Worm food. We had so many plans and now…Now there's only me. How am I supposed to cope without you, my love? How? And I swear that Raphael will pay. Not now maybe, but he will pay. I owe you that much. Now I'm sorry, my love. There's something I have to do, which is wrap you up for Raphael. What do you think about that as a gift? I know you agree, right? Of course you do. You'd think the fucker deserves it. He does and so much more."

Leo picked up the head and walked home.

XXXX  
Leo didn't see anyone around when he arrived home and he went to his room.

XXXX

Leo got out red and green Christmas paper from his cupboard and carefully wrapped up the head. He added a Christmas card on the front of the present with the words "Merry Christmas, Raphael. Love Leo."

Hahaha, Leo thought. I can't wait to see his expression. He placed the head on his desk and went to meditate.

XXXX

Dinner was a bit more cheerful, with Leo even joining in the conversation to his brothers' surprise and delight.

Leo talked about a movie he wanted to see and he even made brief conversation with Raphael about a book he'd read and told him he should read it.

Raphael was pleased, but he had a sinking feeling that the peaceful atmosphere wouldn't last.

Carols played on the CD player in the lounge, the lair was festively decorated, some presents were under the tree and a lot of the baking had been done, which was in the fridge. All that needed to be done were the apple strudels and the blackcurrant cheesecake. It was definitely starting to feel like Christmas.

"This is fabulous, Mikey," Leo enthused, as he speared another piece of pork. "Thank you."  
"No problem, dude. Are we going to check out the Christmas lights later?"

"I'll try ta after the shoppin'," Raphael said. "I hope ta be done by ten. The shops close at eleven tonight. I'm takin' a risk with humans out, but I got no choice and I don't wanna wait until after Christmas. It ain't the same, ya know."

"I'll go," Leo said. "I love the Christmas lights in the city. So did Karai, who'd have been there in a nanosecond this year."

There was thick silence, as everyone digested his words, a not so subtle reminder that she would have been there had it not been for Raphael.

"Everyone done?" Mikey asked. "I'll wash up."  
"No. I got it," Raphael said quickly, desperate to escape the table, Leo's dig feeling like a dagger to his heart.

Leo, Donnie and Mikey rose from the table and went to dress for their excursion.

Raphael washed the dishes and then went to his room to get ready for his shopping trip.

XXXX

Raphael left the lair in his trench coat, red scarf and fedora, walked through the tunnels and climbed up a manhole. There was no one around at that moment, but he didn't have much time before the shops closed, so he made a beeline to his favorite store.

XXXX

Raphael went inside the store, taking care that no one saw his face, and wandered up and down the aisles, debating what to get his brothers.  
He settled on a new digital camera and calligraphy brushes for Leo, jigsaw puzzles for Don and a French and Thai cook book for Mikey, who'd expressed interest in cooking new cuisines. He placed them all in his basket. Thrilled he'd found great gifts for his brothers, Raphael couldn't resist looking at the kids' toys.

Raphael smiled, when he saw a plush Turtle toy and thought, that's so cute. The baby would love it. Raph, you don't even know if there is a kid and yer buyin' it a toy. Ya really are a sap, ain't ya? Well, I don't care. I'm gettin' it.

Raphael placed the plush in the basket and stood in the queue to pay. It was soon his turn. He quickly paid, left the store and hurried to meet his brothers near Central Park, where they always gathered on Christmas Eve to gaze at the lights.

XXXX

Raphael met his brothers and they walked the streets for a while, admiring the lights. Then they went home.

XXXX

The brothers arrived home sometime later and went to their bedrooms.

XXXX

Raphael wrapped up the presents and then he climbed into bed.

I hope they love what I got, he thought. He closed his eyes and was soon asleep.

XXXX

Mikey had made blueberry pancakes and bacon for breakfast on Christmas Day.

Everyone chatted amiably at the kitchen table. Even Leo, who smiled a lot and made a point of chatting to Raphael, so no one would suspect what he was about to do.

Mikey was over the moon that Christmas was going so well and he'd thanked Leo several times for making the effort, when he knew it was tough to do so.

Leo had merely smiled and said that it was his pleasure and it was the least he could do for his brother, who always did so much for them.

Breakfast was soon over.

Raphael washed up the dishes and thought, Leo's been awesome, but I can't help thinkin' that a storm's brewin'. I hope not. I don't care 'bout me, but it'll hurt Mikey, who's worked so hard ta make it amazin'. Leo, please don't cause shit. Let's just get through today and then ya can go back ta hatin' me.

XXXX

The family had decided to do the presents when Casey and April had arrived, which they did at ten.

All the presents were now under the tree, including Raphael's 'special' one.

"Great. Now we're all here, I can be Santa," Mikey declared. "It's my turn!"  
"Bull dust. It's mine," Donnie said. "Don't sulk, Mikey!"

Mikey scowled and went to sit on the sofa with Raphael.

Casey and April sat on another sofa with Leo.

Nearly show time, Leo thought gleefully. This is going to be so much fun.

Donnie picked up a pink box, handed it to April and said, "This is for you, April."

"Thanks," April said and took it. She opened it and withdrew a pink negligee. "You're so thoughtful," she said and smiled. "I love it. Thanks, Case."  
"My pleasure. It's a gift for us both. You'll look hot in it!"

"TMI!" Donnie said. "Get a room. Mikey, here's one for you," he added and handed Mikey a gold wrapped box.

Mikey shook it, opened and said happily, "Leo, you got me the apron I wanted, which says kiss the chef! Thanks so much!"  
"My pleasure, Mikey."

"Oh. Here's one for Raph," Donnie said and picked up the one Leo had wrapped. "Here you go, Raph," he said, handing it to the volatile turtle. "It's from Leo."

"Oh, Leo, ya didn't gotta," Raphael said. "Thank ya."  
"I know, but I wanted to. You deserve a present. You've done so much for me. It's the least I can do to say thanks and it's Christmas after all. How could I not get you anything?"

An excited Raphael carefully unwrapped his gift, thinking how wonderful it was of his big brother to get him something after all, despite the conflict. It said a lot about Leo's character.

Raphael blanched, his eyes widened in shock, his mouth open in abject horror and his stomach lurched, when he saw Karai's head.

He'd been right. A storm had been brewing and his big brother was still pissed. Leo's niceness had been a charade and he'd planned this all along.

"What is it, Raph?" a concerned Donnie asked, as the others studied Raphael.

Leo chuckled and said, "Don't like it, little bro? It's a gift from me and Karai with our love."

A nauseated Raphael dropped the head, which rolled to Donnie's feet, making the genius pale.

Raphael retched, his heart shattered.

"What's that?" Casey asked anxiously.

"Is that Karai?" April asked in bewilderment. "How the hell did..?"

"Leo, how could you?" Mikey shouted, his blue eyes flashing. "You promised…."  
"Shut the fuck up, Mike," Leo yelled. "That is Karai, my love. Raphael murdered her after he raped me and I'm tired of pretending we're a united family. We aren't and never will be. Go on, Raphael. Admit what you did and be a man. You thought I'd forgive you and buy you a present after all you did, you fucking bastard? I never will, Raphael. I fucking hate you and I hope you die. That'd be the best present I could receive. Merry fucking Christmas to you all."

Leo picked up the head and left the lair.

A devastated Raphael staggered to his feet and bolted out of the lair, unable to look at his friends, whom he suspected probably now despised him.

"Christmas is ruined!" Mikey wailed. "I worked so hard to make it special and….Leo, how could he do that? How? Now Raph's gone!"  
"I'll go after him, Mike," Donnie said. "You stay with Casey and April. I'm sorry, guys. I had no idea Leo would pull a stunt like that."

"Is it true, Donnie?" April asked.  
"Yes, but it wasn't Raph's fault. Mike will explain," Don said and left the lair.

I hope I find Raph, Don thought. And that I can convince him to come home. What a fucking awful Christmas. This is the worst ever. Poor Raph. Please let me find him.

 **A/N Can Donnie convince Raphael to come home?**


End file.
